Hello September!

It's finally September (!!), which means stores will be opening and jobs will be starting. Since our experience here is more than just getting lost and eating, we have decided to celebrate September's arrival by focus on a few other aspects of our life here. 

Notes on Driving:

The other day we found ourselves in the back of a taxi, going over cobble stones, and fighting against whiplash as our driver put the gas pedal to the floor, followed immediately by grounding the break pedal into the floor. Luckily he also seemed to have no understanding of how to drive  stick shift. This is really an impressive feat since our driver was about 75 years old, makes his living driving, and has been driving in a country where 95% of the cars are stick shift. It was between launching forward and slamming back against the seat that Courtney felt we must address driving in Italy.

If you know nothing else about Italy, you know that Italians are notorious for being the worst drivers. Traffic laws are created but never followed or enforced. Every time you leave the safety of your home you are taking your life in your hands.

It's a coin toss what is more alarming: being a passenger in the car or a pedestrian crossing streets. When you're in the car you're able to see how close pedestrians get to being run down by an inpatient driver. A while back we saw an elderly woman crossing the street and we swore that she was going to be hit. The driver clearly had no intention of slowing down or stopping, and the woman had no intention of running towards the safety of a sidewalk. The most alarming part is hurtling through the streets of Rome and knowing that quite often you are that person millimeters away from getting hit. Sometimes you aren't really sure the drivers don't want to hit something or someone.  You learn quite a bit about yourself when sitting in the back of a taxi. For example, Rachel has discovered that she can get car sick. Even our first Italian friend confirmed that traffic laws are suggestions, theories if you will, not laws in the typical sense. To date our biggest concerns are crashing into a bus in a misguided effort to get around the bus by entering the opposing traffic lane, and internal injuries inflected by the g-force acceleration and logic defying catapults forward while breaking. This brings us to life as a pedestrian.

The first thing you will learn is that cross walk signs have the same green-yellow-red system as traffic lights, however they are paid attention to a bit more. Don't however make the mistake of following the cross walk sign blindly- it'll get you killed.  This point is reenforced but the actual cross walk light, which spends most of its time on yellow. The green light is only on for about 2.3 seconds, with the purpose of telling you if you're gonna cross now it the time to think about doing it. The majority of the time the light is on yellow, which means 'go, but very carefully.' Finally the light goes to red, though it should probably have turned red 20 seconds prior. While the light is red, it's a good time to try and calm your nerves before crossing the next street. The temptation to run for your life is common, however if you relax and try to make eye contact with the driver, we're told they'll make a special effort to avoid hitting you.

Tourists are easily identified as they are typically the people stranded on a medial stripe. They are also known to stand on corners looking confused and scared, with eyes searching for alternative routes.  The culmination of  our experience with Italian traffic involves one very brave young man and his terrified girlfriend.

The Cousines were on their way to the American food store when we were stopped at an intersection that doubled as a great photo-op for tourists....

 The light is red. Across the street we see some commotion. We see a young man that clearly is getting ready to make his move across the street. He can't be bothered with traffic suggestions, and with that he confidently steps into the street and strides across. His girlfriend remains on the other side, unsure of the next move. She doesn't want to cross, but riding high off his victory, her boyfriend is anxious to continue their journey. To her right, 300 feet away is a motorcycle.  The street is narrow; she has plenty of time to cross safely. Totally freaked out the girl takes a deep breath and runs across the street., but in her panic she begins to run on an angle, recklessly out of control in the middle of the  street. Like this:

She finally comes to her senses, but not before her eyes practically fall out of her head...

and she emits this  hilarious sound... Finally she sprints to the safety of our side of the road.

If you are planning a trip to Rome, here's a great article that will teach you how to cross the street in Rome.

Visit to the Castel Sant'Angelo:

Should also be known as the ultimate phobia fighter. Seriously, the place has  the scariest stairs ever. We actually had to negotiate who would go down first. If it wouldn't have drawn attention, Courtney wanted to go down the stairs toddler style. It's incredible that people  were walking up and down these stairs and not falling to their death. Even with all the safety railings, we were still moving as though we were new to walking.

You're not claustrophobic are you? If you are, you may have a problem. So many paths lead to areas that require you to walk sideways through the space, or get on your hands and knees to crawl through doorways. Maybe these obstacles wouldn't be so bad if you weren't painfully aware of how far below ground level- under many many layers of concrete and brick- you are while performing these gymnastics.

Okay, so you're still good? How about heights? Because when you get to the highest point of the Castel, with the iconic bronze Saint Angelo looming directly above you and spectacular views of the city around you, the first thing that comes to mind is, "Please don't let there be a strong wind." It's directly after this awe inspiring experience that you are required descend what are surely in the top 5 of steepest stairways in the world.

Additional Observations: The biggest point of going on the night tour was so Courtney could see the secret passage way that connected the Castel Sant'Angelo to the Vatican. (The Vatican used the Castel as a refuge in case of attack). A lover of all things secret and mysterious, this was to be the highlight of Courtney's experience.  We did not get to see the passage. Apparently it was a separate ticket (the difference of one euro) to get to see the passage. No one mentioned different types of tickets. In fact, it wasn't even until halfway up that we learned of the situation. If we hadn't already climbs about a million steps we might have gone back to get the proper ticket. Or maybe if we had cried the woman blocking our path would've felt bad and let us in. Luckily are resolve is even weaker than that. When faced with three pigeons perched on the rafters of one particularly lonely path, the Cousines turned around rather than walk under them. That's right, we were afraid of the pigeons. Courtney has developed an irrational fear of pigeons flying into the apartment).  After the pigeons took up residence on the balcony, with their ill-fated eggs, we didn't want to attract anymore negative pigeon karma.

Comrades in Complaining (a.k.a Cha-cha- changes):

It's no secret that while we're having a fabulous time in Rome, every now and then we long for the company of fellow English speakers, and a menu that isn't limited to pasta and pizza. With this in mind we keep a handy list of pubs in Rome for when we're having one of those days. 

Without a doubt, Scholars Lounge is our favorite pub. It is owned, run, and frequented by Irish, who absolutely could not be nicer. It was while sitting at the bar that we learned the Cousines aren't the only ones put off by certain attitudes from the Romans. (In our case it is confusion and slight annoyance. In the case of the staff at Scholars it resembles a much stronger dislike.. which might be why only one staffer speaks Italian or even makes an effort to understand).

We thought the bartender was joking when he asked what made us decide to up and move here; he was serious. Courtney's highlight was this exchange:

Bartender: Is this your first time in Rome?

Court: No, I studied here.

Bartender: And you came back?! How long ago?

Court: Seven years.

Bartender: Have you found much has changed?

Court: Not really. I mean some things seem different- hard to say really.

Bartender: I'm sure nothing has really changed, and I can guarantee you that anything that has changed hasn't been for the better.

Lost in Translation:

"This is definitely not a sleft left" -Rach (In English: This is definitely not a slight left.)

"I have sesame seeds all over me!" - Court (No explanation... just randomly said.  We haven't had anything with sesame seeds)

Things We Accidentally Froze in the Refrigerator  (Part II):

• Bananas
• Tomato Sauce
• Iced Tea
• Tuna Fish
• Orange Juice
• Potatoes 

Attacked by Little People (a.k.a. Items Rachel has been hit with by children):

• Stick- while walking in the park, a child playing in an empty fountain, turned, saw Rachel and threw the stick.
• Pipe like Lego- while babysitting for one of her families, the oldest child repeatedly hits Rachel with aforementioned object.

Places Courtney has locked herself in or out of:

• Bathroom at Mercato- somehow managed to lock herself in the bathroom. Seriously contemplated trying to break the door down.
• Door to Apartment- could not unlock the front door. Effectively continued to be locked out while locking Rachel in.

Dreams Do Come True:

Rach: I had a nightmare and woke up all scared that something was in my room. Not a person.
Court: Like a bug?
Rach: No, like a creature.
Court: What kind of creature? An animal?
Rach: A furry little person
Court: A furry little person? And you were still dreaming?
Rach: No, I was awake. I guess it was a furry midget.

Days later..... Location: Scholars Lounge

Court: Did you see that guy over there?
Rach: Who? Where?
Court; The little weird one.
Rach: You mean the furry midget? Wait!! Just like in my dream!!!

Rachel's Theoretical Analysis of Directions:


Court: What's the difference between a slight left and turning left?
Rach: A slight left means move to the left side of the road to prepare for a left turn.
Court: So a slight left means cross the street?
Rach: Correct. You are going to the left, only slightly.
Court: So a slight left always precedes a turn left? Does this rule apply to rights as well?
Rach: Yes. I think so.

(Rach taking out directions)

Rach: It says slight left, then make a right.... oh... well than I have no clue what the difference is.

Things We've Learned:

•  We are unable to properly plan an entire excursion. Just like there is no perfect crime - the criminal always forgets something essential that seals his fate- the Cousines are totally unable to organize a day-trip without missing some crucial part. Some examples:
• Forgetting the directions to the restaurant we'd been dying to go to (note: still haven't made it there)
• Attempting to follow directions and still managing to get off track.
• Continuously having the Aurelian Walls block our path. The walls might have been built to keep enemies out, but they are doing a great job of keeping us in. (Though with our tendency towards getting lost this may actually be a blessing in disguise.)
• Getting lost inside a park. The Cousines have adopted Sundays in the Park into the routine.  After our enjoyable little excursion quickly turned into a reenactment of the Blair Witch Project as we attempted to get out of the park before it closed at dusk.

It's Closed

Every learning experience is an evolutionary process. Of course typically there is some type of progress or at least evidence of improvement.

It is said that insanity is defined by the repetition of the same action expecting a different result. Below is an overview of our week. We'll let you decide where we rank.

This week has been a test of the wills. Last Sunday was a national holiday here, so we planned accordingly and stayed in. We had it on good authority that after the holiday people would be returning and stores would be open. With this knowledge we planned our entire week, packed with sightseeing and places we wanted to check out. We were, as usual, wrong. Instead of people returning,even more places have closed. Most painfully our new favorite "dollar store", fabulous bakery, and most practically the cell phone store (more on this one later).

Today for example we planned a nice day in our neighborhood including: visiting the hair salon, checking out what is supposed to be a fab accessories store, and getting our phones fixed. Unless we have been in the city center where it's a tourist mecca, everything has been closed for August, yet we continue to make plans rationalizing that of course THIS place will be open. The biggest problem is that there is no warning that the store will be closed, or for how long. One day you just show up and the gate is down. Or more annoyingly most stores have their names inside the gate, so you're never even sure if you've made it to the right place.

Discovering why a store is closed is like a multiple choice game:

Why is the cell phone store closed?
A. Siesta
B. Holiday/Vacation
C. National holiday
D. Didn't feel like opening


This afternoon we were 0-3. We walked five plus miles, spent 35 minutes zigzagging amongst parallel streets, and 15 blocks trying to turn right. Which brings us to the next issue.. directions.


We previously mentioned constantly arriving at our destination during siesta. Well now it seems we need to start out before dawn to FIND the place before closing time. We'll be getting ready to go out, and suddenly Courtney is a maniac about getting on our way. We could have five hours before a place is set to close and somehow we'll still be sweating getting there in time. (Of course it's probably been closed all day anyway). The main problem is that you'll be walking along and next thing you know the name of the road changes. But it doesn't change just once, if the road is long enough it could change dozens of times.


Google Maps is no help because they use things like addresses, street names, and instructions, in order, to get from Point A to Point B. Street signs are hard enough to find, let alone an address. Walking yesterday we literally passed a store whose address was 25, the very next store was 28. Okay, so odd and even numbers on the same side of the street, check. (But wait... where did 26 and 27 go?) Directly across the street, the building's address was 452. Huh?! There also seems to be a miscommunication between Google's definition of a right turn vs. a slight right and Rome's definition. Arriving at our destination is always a surprise because we normally can only understand half the directions, and whichever side Google tells us the store will be on using those directions, we arrive from the opposite direction.


Our new rule is that if somewhere is extremely important to us to get to, and we're taking a taxi anyway, the taxi is to drop us off at the exact place we need. Unfortunately, the most important place -our apartment- seems to be the one place the taxis never know how to get to. A few nights ago upon handing over our address...


Driver: Via Anghiari?
Us: Yes.
Driver: Are you sure this is right?
Us: Yes.
Driver: You've been there before?
Us: Yes, we live there.
(5 minutes spent looking at map)


 In their minds we are so far removed, they take the fastest way possible to drop us off and return to the city center.


(Same taxi, upon arrival at our destination)


Driver: You sure this is right?
Us: Yes.
Driver: But the building doesn't have a door.
Us: The door is right there.
Driver: Have you been in there before?
Us: Yes.
Driver: You sure you want to go in?
Us: Yes.


The city's taxis are getting quite the education from two little American girls. At the very least their city maps are getting a workout, We love watching drivers' facial expressions upon receiving the address. Yesterday we spent 15 minutes in the back seat of a taxi, while the driver looked at various maps, which he continued to consult throughout the journey.


While walking in circles or arriving at our destination only to find the gate down, Rach has had to hear many times, "I am about to have a fit!", from Court. Her outburst is similar to this....

In an effort to avoid Courtney's own supermarket meltdown, we're keeping our daily goals modest. Tomorrow's goal: get paper towels.


Observations:

• Italian cherry soda is not like American cherry soda. Remember the last time you were sick and needed cold medicine? You know how 'cherry' is the flavor that is supposed to make the idea of drinking the medicine better-- and it doesn't? Well that's Italian cherry soda. 
• Courtney is totally unable to eat gelato without getting it all over her hands. Courtney now carries hand wipes in her purse in the event we decide to get gelato. Just the other day Courtney pointed out a child who was crying. The mother gave her daughter hand wipes to remove what Court refers to as 'the sticky' and she immediately stopped crying. Court's point was that 'the sticky' is a serious thing. Rach sees this as an example of how getting gelato all over you is only supposed to happen to children. Italians always eat their gelato in a cone, Court can't even master the cup. Cones will not be in her future.
• Recharging the minutes on your cell phone is supposed to be one of the easiest things to do here. You can charge it online, add minutes from the ATM or various vending machines, just to name a few. So far we haven't been able to get any option to work. Why not bring the phones to the store? Yes, we've been planning on it. We've gone 3 times this week- closed every time.
• While doing research for sightseeing we learned (according to the web) that Rome's Piramide is man-made. This came as a shock since previously we had been under the impression they sprouted from the ground. 

Thoughts from Rachel:

• "You know, when I'd be driving at home sometimes I would get so mad at certain traffic laws. Like why did I need them? Having now spent time in a place where there are virtually no traffic laws, and the few there are aren't enforced, has given me a new found appreciation of traffic laws."
• Found written in her notebook, in her own handwriting..."What are we talking about?"

On the Upside:

• The food here is- as imagined- fantastic. Sure it's a lot pizza, pasta, and gelato, but every place puts their unique mark on it. We've been having a great time eating our way through the city and comparing. The fresh produce markets are the best. The cantaloupe here is literally the best we've ever had. Not to mention the tuna fish- delicious!
• We did find the American store, where peanut butter, hot sauce, and mustard were selected to come home with us. We've also been fortunate enough find several Irish/English pubs to fulfill any burger and fry cravings.

Communication of the Week: "What...I couldn't hear you, I was in the refrigerator" - Rach

Sight of the Week: Dinner and a Show, 60+ year old man "exercising" outdoors. This included: climbing street signs, balancing on bike racks, doing hand stands, and fake jump roping.

Song of the Week:  See you in September by The Happenings

Also for those of you keeping track of our shower struggles.... after nearly a week of successful showering, today a major setback. Rach's overflowed the tub.