A prime example of our problem is the bread bakery that is literally attached to our building. The closest we've ever gotten is seeing the bakery through the closed glass doors. It's become our personal challenge to get bread from that bakery. Courtney's window is geographically the most likely to draw in the smell of fresh baking bread. She spends most mornings in a half sleep sniffing for signs of baking bread.
Then there is the on going shower situation. It's nearly impossible for us to remember to put the water heater on in enough time to allow both of us to get a hot shower. One of us (normally Courtney) must sacrifice themselves to a shower that mimics get caught in freezing rain. This only heightens the other potentially hazardous shower challenges. The size of the shower is equivalent to a port-o-potty. Sudden movements are not encouraged, and escaping the experience with fewer than a dozen run-ins with the shower doors is considered a success. Because your feet get so dirty walking around the city, you have to make a special effort to clean them when showering. If the cold water or the size of the shower didn't get you, than the rapidly filling shower base might. The majority of your shower focus goes to finishing the shower before you flood the bathroom. Thus balancing on one foot, while trying to avoid direct contact with the pelting freezing water, and watching the rapidly rising water for signs of flood is quite literally taking your life in your hands. It's not unusual for us to ask each other if everything is okay as soon as we hear the water go off. We're just grateful the shower doors are plastic.
Okay so now we've gotten up, eaten, and showered, it's time to leave the house. We can't take the elevator to the lobby because we can't figure out how to get out of the elevator once we get there. We're on the third floor so getting off at the first floor is just silly, but because the stairs are granite it takes us 10 minutes to get downstairs for fear of falling. Next is the 45 minute walk to wherever we're going. After multiple days of extensive walking Rachel's left knee is destroyed and the right side of Courtney's back and right leg are ruined. This pretty much doubles our walking time. By the time we're halfway there we are sweating profusely and need another shower. On yesterday's excursion Rachel was quoted saying "I'm sweating in my shorts." A little while later.. "Hold on!..I'm falling out of my pants."
And after lunch:
Rach: I have to get up in a certain way.
Court: Because of the gimpness? (not the first reference to Rachel's injured knee)
Rach: No because of the sweatness
But fear not we're problem solvers. Rach has been scoping out canes to address the walking problem. ("I saw the canes at that little store. Next to the mops.") Court's still looking for a back brace. We've also invented personal canopies in an effort to reduce the sweatness.
We have a great balcony that we've been so excited to sit out on. To date that's not been possible... a family of pigeons has set up house on our balcony. The mother spends most of the day sitting on the eggs nestled in one of our flower pots. When we approach- typically to try and put laundry out- she stares aggressively. The situation has gotten our attention so much that we're constantly running into other rooms to make sure a pigeon hasn't come in.
Another daily challenge is our ability to communicate. Not with the Italians, but with each other. In English. We also suffer from nonsense thought processes. Some examples:
- "My stomach still feels weird. I don't know if it's more hunger....- or just sick."- Rach
- Courtney spent 2 days without her fan before realizing the fan isn't going to turn on if you keep hitting the off button.
- "I just stayed awake so slowly."- Courtney
- "I need to move myself into the big bag."- Courtney
- "I feel like we fell asleep in a poppy field..... you know like Dorothy and her animals" (referencing our random 8 pm nap- Dorothy and her animals is commonly known as The Wizard of Oz)- Rach
- "I know! That's what I always worry about when I watch the movie." -Rach (When asked if it was meant to be a poppy field how did anyone ever wake up to make it to the Emerald City)
* Special Note: the above phrases and situations occurred without the influence of alcohol.
On Taxis:
We have yet to get in the taxi that we approached. When we ask to be taken somewhere we are constantly told "It's far." Well yes, thank you, that's why we've decided to take a taxi. (Unfortunately that rationale didn't dawn on us until last night). Once we've established that we will be taking a taxi, the group of taxi drivers gather to discuss who will take us and which route to take. In fact this process takes quite a long time, seemingly to give other taxis within a 10 mile radius to arrive and contribute to the discussion. Often when we're in the taxi Courtney's ability to respond to questions posed in English disappears. But she does try to answer. It's just to answer a completely different question. (Example: "Would you like the air conditioning on?" Courtney: "You want to set a price instead of the meter?") When you're walking you absolutely always wish you were being driven, but there are many times where you are made to regret that wish. I'm fairly certain there is nothing worse than being in a taxi with a broken seatbelt. If you have any sense of self-preservation this is the worst thing that could happen to you.
Sight of the Day: One toed pigeon while eating lunch near the Vatican.
Word of the Day: Oobleck (def. sticky green substance invented by the good Dr. Seuss) When used in a sentence: "I don't like walking through tunnels. I don't want oobleck to fall on me."
Situation of the Day: Typically Italians only shop for the food they will eat that day. As Americans we're used to stocking the fridge. As we checked out today the cashier asked us if all that food was just for the two of us.
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